Opened Wild Rose.

I have a lot I want to talk about, there are so many things I am learning and want to share.

Today I went for a training on  "family life challenges". I didn't know what to expect but I know I am not a fun of "professional counseling" but this lady made   a statement that  opened me up. She said..
"It's not always as it is written in the book, you learn while doing".
I actually sat up straight in my chair and enjoyed the training and I realized it was really for me.

"Self sufficiency is a sin... " I learnt that along the way. I used to think I didn't need anybody and I can do bad all by myself. Well I was wrong and even now that I continue to learn sometimes it comes up until I remember " independence is a scam" we need people in our lives and we depend on people for support in one way or another.
We need each other.
I need my friends

When we are recklessly abandoned, we are Opened. Just like a seal on anything when opened it can get sealed again.
When we are open we are to be used, makes us weak, makes us empty and makes us useless.
In that state we realise and are aware of who we are and since we are there,  we need each other. I need my friends.

I am broken, I was ashamed of my brokenness. I still feel the Shame sometimes but exposing my shame makes me weak yet draws help to me.

I  am opened up to be used, to be emptied to be corrected, to be what God wants me to be. This can only happen when  I am empty so that the Spirit fills me and uses me.

The major thing that I have learnt today is that I am afraid CHANGE, of transition, changes and phases of growth. Change is inevitable but my reaction to change is always a struggle.
Intimacy means attachment and I easily get attached losing that attachment and accepting changes that might occur leave me "paralysed" 
This is a big deal for me to realise everything changes,  seasons change, people change the one thing that is eternal and constant is God(Love).
Exposing this is going to help me deal with it and adjust that I have no doubt and I am work in progress.

I am Opened. I need my friends and i am not ashamed of my brokenness and need. I am going to be wild and free because I am Opened.  For he who the son has set free is free indeed.
I am Opened.