PREVILAGED............part 1

I am so exhausted right now and yet this is so fresh in my mind and heart a few more days and i will not not have it, the second half of the year has started off so busy, exciting and hectic at the same time, had a four days conference at munyonyo speke resort and those who know Uganda can tell how munyonyo is very lovely with lake Victoria view very beautiful and very expensive too, Luxurious as first i thought being in such a place, i would relax and have fun at the pool or by the lake side walking barefoot, well that was not the case i found myself amidst so many people from different countries people with different backgrounds and people with different mindsets i felt like it was the whole world gathered here in Kampala.
it was a mixture of scholars, Academicians, Policy makers, researchers, government officials Refugees, donors and so many other categories of people.i am not sure which category of people i belong to but i was there too...:)PREVILAGED
Thanks to Jade and Shelah for giving me the opportunity to be one of the people at this Informative and Educational conference, i have got so much knowledge my head is almost bursting and my heart is filled with joy to know what i know right now and i am privileged to be feeling this way. One of my school slogan was" Knowledge is Wealth" and indeed i feel so rich , stocked up and the sky is the limit where i can go with all the knowledge i got from the conference.
The theme of the conference was "Governing Migration"Yeah i know that sounds political right, yeah it was diverse, i t covered every thing from politics to social Economic issues to Gender and all that, with confidence and Authority the people presented what they had and strongly talked about what they believed in from how human rights being marginalized, to the gay community in Uganda who believe they are being persecuted and they have a right to be free, the prostitutes who believe it is a business that should be legalized, the urban refugees who felt they were forgotten, Asylum seekers who do not understand why they are left to wait for a long time and later to be denied, refugees being forced back into their countries and violent sex against gender and what men are really good for and remembering that men were also victims of sexual violence.
A wide variety of issues challenging and intriguing questions were raised and all this made me proud to be who i am and to be from the place i identify as HOME, am proud to be African.
i realized my importance both to the people in my community, my country and the world at large, i am so privileged, so privileged.
during the conference i got to meet some amazing people who took me into their world and told me about themselves, who they are, what they do and why they do what they do, Thanks to them for keeping me going even when i was tired and we were all tired they held me by my hands and told me we can go on and get there, we laughed so much, talked about what we thought about the different presentations , had an Academic Crush on Alex Bret from Oxford university, he is so smart, and Astrid one of the girls i met from Canada had a Crush on Chris Dolan the director of the Refugee Law Project, she lost focus every-time she saw him and we all would laugh about it, i had so much fun and got so much knowledge at the same time, meeting all these people made realize how wonderful God is and how he has a good plan for my life.
i am so Privileged.

DID HE WATCH?!?

If you do nothing in a difficult time, your strenght is limited, Rescue those being attacked and taken off to death and save those stumbling toward slaughter.
If you say , "But we did not know about this," won't he who weighs hearts consider it?
Won't he who protects your life know?
won't he repay a person according to his work?
He lives and he watches, Right?, Just curious, do not doubt his love and all that but i know he loves us and cares about us and knows us just woundering if you watched the scene......
A Tusti woman, what was her crime, what had she done to deserve such treatmetn, so we choose our parents?, do we choose our looks? which country to belong to? we always find ourselves where we are, we never choose hospitals to be born from right.....He is always watching even when we are born...She was born Tutsi, grew up in Rwanda, very Beautiful and graceful, polite and calm just like all the people in Rwanda, one day all her beauty and value was over looked she lost her 9 month old baby, as if that was not enough, over 15 men raped her taking turns, very sure looked at each other as in approval of what they had done, not sure what they would do next after destroying her and her screaming could nto even save her at that point very powerless and helpless, they watched her in pain and as if that was not enough, They got a stick pushed it through her virgina to her head, there she met her creator, she had her last breath, she passed on, she was labled with a stick through her body, her body lay there and she was gone, her spirit out of her and he Watched...............he watched all that happenign to her, was that her fate, was she being punished for being Tutsi?, for Being Beautiful?. what was her crime? He still watched, he always watches over us. Yes he Watched and got her out of trouble, he rescued her , not the way we wanted to, but the best that he saw for her, his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are far from our thoughts, he watches over Us, He watched over Her.

I AM SO SORRY, BEAUTIFUL ONE.

Ever heard someone tell you their story and your are speechless?, all you can say is Beautiful one i am so sorry, how could they do that to you?, how could someone think of hurting someone as beautiful as you? how can some one think of using some one as innocent as you are? you are so beautiful and full of joy and laughter and that could not stop someone from inflicting pain on you, destroying your innocence and devaluing you making you seem worthless.
I am so sorry Beautiful one that you had to go through what you went through.
Went to a house of beautiful girls yesterday and my heart was torn apart listening to mariam their Mentor, friend and coordinator explain to us what these beautiful girls have gone through, was not so painful as watching them dance and play and without saying a word tears droped at how someone gets the energy to hurt someone like them, i had pain in my heart and asked Father(GOD) to take control and take charge, i am so sorry there was no one to help you, no one to protect you and no one to stand by you, i wish i were there i wish i could have doen something to stop what happened to you , i wish you had never lived to be one of the people that were hurt by those withoug hearts, i am sorry beautiful one, i am sorry, i wish i could turn the clock but i can not all i can to is stand by you. Now that you are out of their claws, protect you so you can never be their prey anymore, restore your value for you are priceless, let you know how much i love you and how much i will not let anyone take advantage of you, let you know that Father(GOD) loves you and he has always been by your side and he has a good plan for you, let you know how precious you are to the world and most of all, help you realise that you can make many other who have gone through the same tragedy you have to overcome their fears and be whole again, Let you know that you are Treasures.................

Life has Changed

Thought peer pressure would be among teenagers only oh..how wrong i was, i have not blogged so much and did not think it was inportant until i read some of my friends blogs rescently.
i did not know why i had to blog and its importance, because all the people i cared for were around me and got to know everything they had to know, well it is different now, my friends have moved, life has changed, they are no longer around me, the new friends i have met are also leaving and i need to get them posted about what is happening in my life because they keep me posted about what is happenign in their lives too.
Now here i am again this time ready for this and this time i have a clear reason for blogging and thanks to all that have been able to make me understand why i need to do this, thanks to JenniferWilmore, it was from you that i first learn about blogging and Jade and Shelah Acker, who have always given people updates about their family, Robyn Cash who wrote about me :) missy Ward who was able to Voice my thoughts through her blog on several occassions, Christina maddalone, reading her blog givesd me reason to do the same and know it will be fine.
Patrick just started a new blog and with all these people blogging, i think i can do it to and i think i will survive.
i can do it and i will do it.

"Cry Out To Jesus" - by Third Day

FLYING

"Its said that if someone loves u,

love them back, unconditionally,not only because they love you but because they teach you to love

and also open your eyes and heart to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make everyday, count.

Appreciate every moment and take it from everything that you possibly can.

For you may never be able to experience it again.

This is only 4 those who deserve it."

A friend of mine wrote this and i thought to my self WOW................

Amazing............!!!!!!

We are sometimes Afraid to do the right thing

in fear that we will be rejected or hurt, with such a mindset as the quotation,

i am flying, higher and being my best to whoever i find and to whoever i come across

Am going to speak the language of love.

AM FLYING.

CRASHED

i have just finished reading "worrior Princess" a book by Princess Katune Zulu, very interesting book, very inspiring, well, i guess i awoke all the compassion inside of me and the desire to serve people and make an impact in lives. Last friday i watched Joyce meyer telling her Story, OMG, i almost cried and still my inner side came out, i was so broken and felt vulnerable, her story was moving, i know most people have heardd her story including me and how her father sexually abused her but this time it was different, she used the term RAPE, her father Raped her.
from the time she was young till 18years, she said she thinks he raped her over 200 times in that period.
i was crushed, crushed and broken, there there was another story of someone being abused, physically, mentally and verbally.
all these just crash my spirit, i get so moved with these stories and wounder what i can do.
What can i do to help these people?
where are these people?
How cani reach them?
i have s many questions running through my head and have no answers.
i want to do something to help these people, but i do not know what to do and where to start from
i am still left with a Carushed spirit
i always imagine them coiled to themseves in pain, shame and worthlessness.
Crying out for help and there is no one.

i am still CRASHED


In shame they live their lives, they long for the time the pain is gone,
They always wish it is a dream and not something that really happened
They long for the time they feel safe just one seocnd of their safety means a lifetime to them
They are Torn, not knowing how to talk about it
Who to tell
How to explain to anyone
They are deperate for help and to live their lives freely again

I am CRASHED