All is not in favor of me right now tears flow easily. feeling numb and dumb not knowing what exactly is happening and what to do at this moment.
Shame is covering me right now disappointed and torn. i have no one to blame and i can not blame myself. i did my best. my very best. guess my very best was not good enough. i tried again the second time hoping to prove myself and still failed. i need to move forward in shame i cover my face. i can not face anyone with my failures because i can not explain them myself. i have no idea why i failed but i did. i labled myself stupid once and i am not doing it again. i have done all this to prove a point that i was not stupid but it has all backfired on me. i rest my case. i recklessly put my trust in him who knows me before i was born. he knows my name and each tear that i cry. he knows my weaknesses and failures and yet he has never given up on me. he knows my going up and down. he knows the words i am going to say before i say them. he knows me better than i know myself and he definitely knows what is good for me. i am done proving myself. it ends here and today and now. i recklessly put my trust in him. even when nothing has gone my way i will praise you lord. i will worship you. i will lift your name on high and i will never stop trusting in you. i recklessly put my trust in you. I RECKLESSLY TRUST YOU FATHER. <3
