DISGUISED PRIDE

Pride, like Satan, is the master of disguise. We see the overly proud whose acts so obvious in his haughty attitude as better, looks down on the afflicted, and expects to reign.
We see him and find him DISTURBING because he amplifies what is hidden in us, though we think "what a Jerk! 
If only we could get a good look at himself from the outside!" However he is blond and proud of his nakedness.
What I want to talk about is DISGUISED PRIDE. Something much more insidious.

Do you know that depression is usually disguised pride that occurs as a person reacts to the blow of the realisation that he cannot be perfect, control himself and others, or do any matter of a good job of imitating God?

Self hatred is Pride for how can one hate self unless he has fallen from the lofty image he had of his own flesh.
Self depreciation can be pride. "ooh.... I cannot do that, no one likes me, I am too stupid and have never succeeded in anything, God could never use me!"
Just how much time does a self depreciating person spend thinking about himself?
Victimization is pride
"ooh... Let me tell you what they said to me. How could anyone say that? How could anyone be so unkind? "
" I got cheated, the family took my money. Do you think I deserve to be treated that way?
Being offended is pride. Does one really think that his flesh is too wonderful that it needs defending?
There is Inferiority, that definitely is pride.  The inferior have spent so much time looking for good in themselves that eventually they find the bad. If they know good, they will know evil.
Jealousy, hating ones unrighteousness, obsession on failure and rejection, the feeling that someone does not observe anything.
Expecting the worst, being negative all the time.
LOOK UP THE DEFINITION OF PRIDE AND SEE IF THE ABOVE IS TRUE IN YOUR HEART!

See how it is the master of Disguise?
Message about SELF.
SELF=SIN=PRIDE!!

Most of the things mentioned here are reactions of some kind. Reactions to how people make us feel usually what they do or say.
I have been there done and still doing and feeling all those. Reacting in that same fashion sometimes the I remember,  I am not perfect, no one is.
I have learnt, no one is perfect we should never expect people to be perfect, only with Love are we able to forgive, only with love are we able to lay ourselves down for the master to cleanse our hearts, only with love are we able to watch our reactions towards what has been said or done, only with love are we able to lift up our hearts and ask our father to lead us in the way everlasting.
Because Pride (Sin) entered the world and yet in Christ we are dead to sin. Only with Love our sins were washed away.
We Love because He first loved us. We do not know how to Love the one who loves us teaches us how to Love and ooooohhh my dear, it is a continuous process, continually reminded that My life is not my own for me to Iive is Christ.
He lives in me.
He is my master
My everything
The air I breath
I do nothing on my own because I am nothing without God.
He resists the  PROUD.... LOVE WINS ALWAYS!

PARTY OF THIS IS A BORROWERD MESSAGE THAT WORKED MY HEART AND SET ME TO PRAY, PSALM 139:23-24.

"SEARCH ME OH.... GOD AND KNOW MY HEART, TRY ME AND KNOW MY ANXIETIES AND SEE IF THERE IS ANY WICKED WAY IN ME, AND LEAD ME TO THE WAY EVERLASTING. "

Opened Wild Rose.

I have a lot I want to talk about, there are so many things I am learning and want to share.

Today I went for a training on  "family life challenges". I didn't know what to expect but I know I am not a fun of "professional counseling" but this lady made   a statement that  opened me up. She said..
"It's not always as it is written in the book, you learn while doing".
I actually sat up straight in my chair and enjoyed the training and I realized it was really for me.

"Self sufficiency is a sin... " I learnt that along the way. I used to think I didn't need anybody and I can do bad all by myself. Well I was wrong and even now that I continue to learn sometimes it comes up until I remember " independence is a scam" we need people in our lives and we depend on people for support in one way or another.
We need each other.
I need my friends

When we are recklessly abandoned, we are Opened. Just like a seal on anything when opened it can get sealed again.
When we are open we are to be used, makes us weak, makes us empty and makes us useless.
In that state we realise and are aware of who we are and since we are there,  we need each other. I need my friends.

I am broken, I was ashamed of my brokenness. I still feel the Shame sometimes but exposing my shame makes me weak yet draws help to me.

I  am opened up to be used, to be emptied to be corrected, to be what God wants me to be. This can only happen when  I am empty so that the Spirit fills me and uses me.

The major thing that I have learnt today is that I am afraid CHANGE, of transition, changes and phases of growth. Change is inevitable but my reaction to change is always a struggle.
Intimacy means attachment and I easily get attached losing that attachment and accepting changes that might occur leave me "paralysed" 
This is a big deal for me to realise everything changes,  seasons change, people change the one thing that is eternal and constant is God(Love).
Exposing this is going to help me deal with it and adjust that I have no doubt and I am work in progress.

I am Opened. I need my friends and i am not ashamed of my brokenness and need. I am going to be wild and free because I am Opened.  For he who the son has set free is free indeed.
I am Opened.

Recklessly abandoned (it's painful)

Friendships are interesting. we have friends, many have different meanings of friendships ans different ways to veiw friends.
We all have our own definition of friends and sadly most times our expectations define friends for us.

I must confess that this area has not been smooth for me. i am puzzled not sure if i am the one "not doing it right" i have failed my friends in many ways and they have failed me too. And usually i loss tjem forever.

Before i used not to care that i might be losing them,well not sure that is totally gone either but i always wonder if we are  just losing the true essence of friendship which to me is "Recklessness".
Friendship is not determined by how long people have known each other,is it? i am not sure but i think friendship is determined by people who recklessly abondon themselves to each other. Be stupid with each other,embrace each other just the way they are.

That said, it doesnt mean all you will do is laugh about your silliness but you will fight too as you embrace each others differences . i am a package wraped up both good and evil. i can be really evil and i am not proud of me at that time bit thats why we have friends because then they make us better people are ae learn from each other.

Recklessness is not celebrated  but i have chosen to take that path. i have abandoned myself to friends before but it was accompanied with pride. i am lossing me and i want to recklessly abandon my self in love. even when it is not my fault i will say sorry. Even when i know the explanations given by my friends are in their defence i will accept it. Even when i dont understand why they dont understand me i will stick around i do all this because a friend made a sacrifice for me too, He recklessly abandoned himself so i can live and He can live  in me too.

Yes it hurts to recklessly abandon myslef,it makes me vulnerable, many times my pride wants to step in then i remember what my friend did for me ooohh.....it is not fun at that moment.

This is where i am right now. This is the place i am at. Right now i am learning to humble myself in recklessness.  Love is reckless, makes me very weak yet very strong. RECKLESSLY ABANDONED. the state of my heart.

My friends are the people God has placed my way,