Have you ever mourned what you never had?
You think you had it, but the reality is it was never there.
We think we have friendships going on or relationships or even pregnancies or a job, but they have never really existed.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick... Proverbs"
My heart detected a threat, my mind down played it.
Ooh how well packaged it was and still is, yet it's not what it says it is.
I have tried to find good in this but this time I have failed, it's all a scam, an empty shell that needed to fix it's self.
I am angry. Mad and disappointed. Maybe I don't have to be but I am.
I hate "fake" and worst of all, I hate it when "fake" makes me feel worthless and useless.
When I allow you to get into my life, it's a privilege for me to know another soul and the mistake I make is to trust you completely,
I don't know how to write this. I don't like that my heart is in this state that I can't even clearly express myself.
I am mourning something that I thought I had but really never had. A friend. "
